Hello readers! It’s certainly been a while since I’ve reached out to all of you. To those who kept up with me, thank you! I’ve always shared my own military life, but what many people don’t know is that I come from a family of service members. Everyone in my family with the exception of my dad has served/is serving currently. It’s something that I’m immensely proud of, but sometimes it catches up to me.
I’ve adjusted to Kyle’s lifestyle as much as one can, but often I’m reminded of how difficult it can be. The past 2 months have been particularly difficult. And here’s why..
My brother is deploying to the Middle East. I never thought I would have to type those words, but here we are. He joined the military in 2013 (same as Kyle) and we knew this time would come. He’s not the first in our family to deploy, but it’s been a long time since we’ve had to cope with this. Despite all the mental preparation, I still found myself so surprised by the news. My own brother, who I shared a home with for 21 years, is going to war.
My first thoughts were, what if it changes him? What if it hurts him? What if I don’t know the man he comes back as? These are all valid concerns; I know that. And there’s not a damn thing that can determine what will happen. All we can do is prepare ourselves, and brace for impact.
Since he won’t be returning until the holidays next year, we’ve been doing quite a bit of planning. You don’t realize what needs to be done until the clock is ticking, so these are the things we’ve tackled so far:
- BAH – Speak with the landlord and arrange an easy way for this to be transferred.
- POA – I have partial POA for my brother, meaning I can make some financial decisions on his behalf, but not all. He’s not married, so this a role I stepped forward to take. I don’t want my parents to have the extra stress, and I’ve handled Kyle’s already so I know what to do.
- Will – This part isn’t fun for anyone, but I can’t stress enough how important it is. Since my brother is unmarried and has no children, his Will just contains myself and our parents. But it also discusses the use of extreme measures if needed in a life/death situation. I didn’t enjoy the discussion, but we’re both adults and we knew it had to be done.
- Cars – Where to store them, when to drive them, etc. My brother has a beautiful Ford Mustang that he only drives about 6 months out of the year, and it’s going to be my job to keep up on the maintenance. He also has a commuter truck that Kyle will be driving until Kyle deploys.
- Belongings – My brother won’t be returning until his lease is already up, so I will be moving all of his things out of his condo with him before he leaves. They’ll be put into storage until we have a solid plan for next year.
I’m sure that more details will pop up as we go through everything, but for now we’ve gotten the biggest concerns out of the way. A couple months before my brother returns, Kyle will be deploying as well. So it’ll just be me for a while, which is very surreal to think about. I’m sorry in advance if I don’t post regularly as I try to plan out the next year+ of my life. I know this process won’t be easy, but we’re doing our best.
Have you had a family member deploy? What tasks do you recommend getting done beforehand?
9 thoughts on “When Military Life Catches Up”
Hmm … I’ve never really thought about a deployment from a sister’s point of view. I don’t have any suggestions, but I look forward to reading more about it.
Hi Jodi, thanks for reading. It’s definitely a different situation than what I had been preparing for (my boyfriends deployment) but I’ll be posting more as we go!
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I couldn’t even begin to imagine if my little brother was in the armed services too and he was being deployed to the Middle East. I’m sending lots of positive energy to you and your family!
Thanks so much Julia! It’s so surreal and I don’t think I’ve fully processed the fact that it’s happening..
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You’re welcome ❤ keep your face towards the sunshine and stay as positive as you can!
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I’ll definitely keep your brother in my thoughts! I hate those weeks leading up to deployments: the tough conversations, the feeling like a clock is ticking down. It’s so hard. My husband has deployed twice in the time we’ve been together, both times to the Middle East, and it was the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I would suggest making sure all of his mail gets forwarded to you or your parents. And then open it on a regular basis. Maybe get access to his LES just in case it’s needed. I needed my husband’s while he was deployed and it was a really tough process getting it. Also-don’t watch or read the news if you can help it. It only made me worry more.
Thank you Rachel, I appreciate it! It’ll be a huge adjustment, but as long as we plan out everything I know it’ll work out. I didn’t even think of his mail… I’ll definitely make sure he gets that straightened out before he leaves. My boyfriend of 5 years will be deploying as my brother returns, so atleast I’ll know what needs to be taken care of the second time around.
A has been the only person in my personal life to deploy, I have no idea what it would be like to have your sibling go. And I can’t even imagine what’s going through your mind right now. Definitely looking forward to your posts!
I’m trying to take it all in piece by piece, but it’s definitely overwhelming. Thank you for reading!