Finding Your Tribe As A Military Spouse

I’ve always been an independent person. In high school and college, I never felt an overwhelming need to be the center of anything, and you wouldn’t find me in large groups of people on any given day. It wasn’t a matter of fitting in, because I could find a way to get along with even the most difficult of people. It was just that I preferred having a few close friends that really cared and understood me, than a ton of friends that I only saw once in a while.

After Kyle joined the military, I found that there were very few people I could relate to. My very close friends stuck by me, and we fumbled our way through the first couple years. But meeting new friends could be quite the challenge. I would tell them that my boyfriend (at the time) had left for Basic Training, and the general response was that it must be “so romantic!” Like every military relationship is a Dear John novel. I came to realize that explaining what the military is really like to someone who hasn’t experienced it is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Continue reading “Finding Your Tribe As A Military Spouse”

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The Real Questions We Ask Ourselves As Military Spouses

“When will he come home?”, “Will he be here for my party?”, “He won’t deploy again for a while, right?” We’ve all gotten them. The never ending, sometimes prying questions that force us to stop for a moment and collect ourselves. Questions that strike us as being so insensitive or disconnected, that we genuinely wonder why someone would ask. Throw in the occasional, “How do you do it?”, and you’ve covered all your bases. Continue reading “The Real Questions We Ask Ourselves As Military Spouses”

The 5 Key Predeployment Conversations

The first true separation that Kyle and I ever had was in 2013 for his initial military training. He swore in at the beginning of April, and we knew right away that he would be leaving in July. At the time, we were still just dating and had been together for about 2 years, but we hadn’t moved in together yet. As July got closer, we spent those last days on the beach or eating at some of his favorite places, trying to avoid the thought of what was ahead. Continue reading “The 5 Key Predeployment Conversations”

2 Month Check-In

Hello lovelies and happy Wednesday! I must say, I was pretty thrilled that we had a holiday last week because it really made the week go by faster for me. I spent the holiday with family and friends, and I returned to work feeling much more refreshed knowing how close we were to the weekend.

Continue reading “2 Month Check-In”

The Love Languages of Deployment

Over the weekend, we attended the Yellow Ribbon Ceremony for Kyle’s unit. I didn’t know exactly what to expect, since this is the first deployment that I’ve been through with him. For those of you who haven’t experienced this yet or aren’t familiar, a Yellow Ribbon Ceremony is for spouses, children, and other family members to gain insight into what their deployed service member will be doing each day, and we can prepare for the separation. We take classes on how to handle emergencies, how to nurture our relationship, OPSEC, benefits, and even care packages. It was a long weekend, but I got some great tips to keep us thriving through this challenging year. Continue reading “The Love Languages of Deployment”

What They Don’t Tell You About Deployment

I remember the day we found out about Kyle’s deployment like it was yesterday. Since it was the first one, the moment has hung in my mind for a long time. It had been just a normal drill weekend, and I tidied up our apartment while I waited for him to get home. It was a Sunday in August, and the sun was still beaming through our shades as I folded laundry upstairs. I heard the hum of his car as he pulled in the drive, rounding the corner into his usual spot. I listened, as I have many times before, as he pulled his backpack out of the backseat and made his way up the steps. I waited for the nob to turn before making my way to the top of the stairs to greet him. Continue reading “What They Don’t Tell You About Deployment”

What Freedom Means In The United States Of America

I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I think that to some extent, we all have. The world that we live in is changing, and it’s no longer a choice of whether or not we’re along for the ride. It’s happening; the change is here.  Continue reading “What Freedom Means In The United States Of America”

The Vows We Make Long Before Marriage

Marriage is seen as one of the biggest commitments that two individuals can make, next to being parents. You stand before each other, vowing to love one another for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do you part. But it’s so much more than those words. It’s patience, sacrifice, and tolerance. It’s unconditional love, and a promise to share your life with someone forever. Continue reading “The Vows We Make Long Before Marriage”

How Do You Say Goodbye

Sitting here, 10 feet away from my older brother, I see a different man than I used to. He was always the quiet one, the soft one, the sensitive one. I always felt older.

But now I feel small, and young; like we’re 5 and 9 again and I’m looking to him for guidance. Like we’re lost somewhere in the woods after exploring for hours, and it feels okay because he always gets us back. Everything is okay because he has the answers. Continue reading “How Do You Say Goodbye”

5 Things That Happen When a Family Member Deploys

Deployment is complicated to say the least, and it effects every family in a different way. It’s not just a matter of what happens during and after, but all of the “what ifs” that come along with it. It’s hard not to think of the worst possibilities, so the best we can do is prepare for what to expect. Whether it’s a husband, wife, sister, brother, etc., here are the 5 things that happen when a family member deploys. Continue reading “5 Things That Happen When a Family Member Deploys”